Sitting in the Messy Middle
I was trying too hard.
That's what a friend of mine told me. "Stop talking about what you're going to do," she said. "You don't actually know how you're going to fix this."
“You have to sit in the messy middle.”
She was right.
***
We all deal with uncertainty, in our personal lives and especially right now in our businesses.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable to say the least. Most of us want the feeling of control, even if that control is an illusion.
We problem-solve.
We set goals.
We craft solutions.
The thing is, when you're in the messy middle, there are no shortcuts to the solve. There's only going through the process.
Some challenges need space and time to unfold.
As a person who biases toward action, I find the messy middle unpleasant. It’s taken me a while to understand what it truly means to live there. And to recognize I can’t force the time and place of an outcome I’m looking for.
***
How do you know you’re in a situation where the best thing you can do is just chill?
Well, for starters, nothing else seems to work particularly well.
AI is a timely example. Right now, so many organizations are trying to figure out what their AI strategy is and what value AI can bring to their companies. As a culture, we're probably in the messy middle of figuring out what role AI will actually play in our lives going forward.
You can educate yourself. You can get support. You can run experiments.
You can invest in AI, but the technology is developing right alongside your plans, which means that what's possible is still unknown.
Can’t change it. Have to learn to live with it.
***
Most of life is uncertain. My preferred approach is to act otherwise.
But occasionally, I take my friend’s advice.
I focus on the facts I know but don’t jump to too many conclusions.
I set goals based on the outcomes I want but don’t hold them too tightly.
I try to move forward but don’t create false urgency or set unrealistic deadlines.
And I deal with the discomfort—usually with exercise and time outside.
If you’re facing a situation right now that feels beyond your control: welcome to the messy middle.
Call out the uncertainty. Watch and observe. Maybe do nothing at all.
The eventual outcome might surprise you…and could be better than what you thought was possible.
