Have Controls in the Business; Don’t Control the Business
I have a friend who flows through life like a river.
When she meets resistance, she moves around it.
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She seeps into the cracks. Finds opportunities to move forward in the less visible pathways.
Always moving, ever-changing.
I’m pretty sure she has figured out the secret to happiness.
I, on the other hand. I am not like a river.
Because I love the illusion of control. My default mindset is that if I only try hard enough, I can force thinking into being. Bend them to my will.
And the thing is…sometimes, my approach works.
But I don’t actually think it’s the best one.
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Life teaches you things, if you let it. It’s one of the great gifts of getting older.
What I’ve begun to realize is that holding onto control (or the illusion of it) leads to expectations and manipulation, and forcing a specific outcome.
Expectations, driving toward outcomes. Those are important leadership qualities.
But equally important is the ability to surrender and just. let. go.
Life isn’t a series of fights you have to win. Not every scenario is a zero-sum game. And applying too many controls, too directly, will smother your team, squash creativity, and ultimately suck the joy out of running a business.
You need systems and tools to manage your team effectively.
=> Find the top 7 tools you need here.
But your structure, processes, and management should create space for others to succeed. Because they are motivated, incentivized, and aligned…not because they’re afraid or want you off their case.
Even when control creates results, it also creates damage. It pushes people away. They don’t bring their best ideas to the table. They stop speaking up. They get less confident. They grow small.
And you’re left wondering why nobody is stepping up to lead beside you.
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The need to control comes from fear. Nobody understands that need better than me.
But what I’ve learned is that when you let go—when you flow like a river—you aren’t leaning into fear.
By letting go, you actually make room: for excitement, inspiration, and joy.
