How to Stop Saying the Right Thing the Wrong Way
What if you’re right…but you’re also wrong?
I see this scenario play out often with founders who are passionate and intuitive (and this certainly includes me).
These folks accept the responsibility of making the 1% decisions. They feel the pressure of the company’s success resting on their shoulders.
They see the right problems.
They identify the right root causes.
They know the right solutions.
But sometimes they can communicate in a way that can make things go very wrong.
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Fear is no longer an acceptable motivator for employees (if it ever was).
Yelling in the conference room or giving team members the silent treatment is not the way to get the best outcomes for your business.
Instead, it:
- Alienates employees
- Erodes trust on the team
- Causes churn, a declining culture, and a whole lot of money
It’s a leader’s responsibility to communicate effectively to their team. Hard stop. That means showing respect, being considerate of context, and taking into account individual personalities.
You may not like it, but that’s the job.
It is also, however, a leader’s responsibility to make the right decisions for the business. To hold people accountable, to set clear expectations, and to uphold high standards.
Your team may not always like it, but that’s the job, too.
And I don’t believe that a leader should be disregarded or ignored, even if their communication style needs work.
We are all works in progress. A good leader will recognize their weaknesses and work to build them up. Communication is one of the most important skills a leader can have, so if it’s an area that needs improvement, I recommend starting to work on that asap.
But that does not mean your team does not have to listen to you. It does not mean they can never hear anything hard, or difficult, or disappointing.
As I said, the founder or CEO is often the first to correctly identify a problem in the business. Hopefully, their attitude, ego, or communication style don’t prevent them from doing something about it.
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Ultimately, the thing about communication styles is that they really need to cut both ways. Get an assessment like the DISC Profile, and you’ll quickly see that. There’s how people should communicate with you based on your style, and then there is how to communicate with others based on their styles.
It’s not a one-way effort.
If you’re more direct, and your #2 prefers a bit of chit-chat, you don’t owe it to them to transform your personality, and neither do they. The best solution is usually to meet somewhere in the middle: maybe a quick check-in, and then get right down to business.
It’s a give and take, and it has to be honest from both sides if it’s going to work.
Because the business can’t run with the goal of making everybody happy.
And no leader is going to be perfect, no matter how hard they try. Perfection shouldn’t be the standard for respect, trust, or compliance.
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This line of thinking does not give any leader a free pass to be a jerk.
For the sake of your people and your business, it’s worth working on your communication style and skills. You don’t have to be perfect, so if you struggle in this area, you had better be visibly trying to improve.
But you will often be right. (Often, but not always. So definitely evaluate your perspective before digging your heels in too much.)
And when you are right, it’s important that you hold your ground with your team. Respectfully, but firmly. You are the advocate for your business. Whether you whisper or shout, it’s your responsibility to speak up. Ideally, just try to do that in the best way that will make them also want to listen.
