Redistribute Stress by Setting Clear Expectations with Your Team
It’s far easier to roll a boulder downhill than to push it uphill.
So why, in organizations, does stress so effortlessly roll all the way up to the top?
(Perhaps I’m using the wrong metaphor.)
A CEO has ultimate accountability for their business. But they are still just one person, and they can’t manage the stress of the entire company alone.
That’s really the point of building the best possible team around you, to help you solve problems and share the load.
Your Stress Pyramid should look like this:
Instead of like this:
How do you keep it that way?
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Make it clear to your team that you are there to support them in doing their jobs well.
Emphasis on “support”—you are not here to do their jobs for them or to rescue them. Assuming the team member is capable of doing their job, and if not, you may need to have a different conversation, your responsibility is actually to manage them by holding them accountable.
You can set the tone by being clear and consistent about when and how your team members should approach you. Setting aside social conversations and general rapport-building, team members should come to you when:
- They want to provide a business update on something they have already resolved. “This happened, here’s how I took care of it.” This kind of update keeps you in the loop and lets your team members highlight their accomplishments.
- They want your guidance on the best solution to a problem. In this case, the team member should have one or more solutions prepared. “Here’s the issue; I think we should deal with it this way. Do you agree?” You serve as a sounding board and may be needed to give final signoff, but they own solving the problem itself.
- They are stuck and have no idea how to proceed with a problem. Even in this case, a team member should be able to explain why they are stuck, what they have already tried, and what they might need to move forward. “I’m not seeing results, and I have tried XYZ. Could you help me come up with a different solution?” Note that a team member who frequently gets stuck may be dealing with problems outside their domain—or isn’t the right fit for their role.
You’ll also need to push back when employees try to engage in other ways. Vague communication that doesn’t take accountability, conversations that focus on drama instead of real problems, learned helplessness that requires you to come up with every solution, rambling that never seems to arrive at a point: these are problems of your own making, practices you have tolerated and unconsciously taught your team. You will have to unlearn these practices together.
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I’ve been thinking about expectations a lot lately. The conclusion I’m reaching is that the kindest thing we can do for one another is to set proper expectations that honor other people as well as ourselves. We can’t expect to get what we want if we never ask for it.
Do you want less stress and a team that proudly shares accountability and a sense of ownership? It’s time to start expecting it—and clearly sharing those expectations.
